Quite quickly, the extra weight on your stomach creeps up on you, rendering you completely incapable of many basic movements. It starts with you feeling a bit stupid: ‘I’m sure yesterday I could put my shoes on like a normal person?!’. Next, you develop yoga-esque poses to carry out simple tasks like putting your socks on. My current go-to shoe pose is leaning back against a wall, knees bent and with one to-be-shoed foot resting on the other knee. Panting and grunting like an ancient animal coming out of hibernation is mandatory and uncontrollable. Forget shoes with laces. That will not happen again for a very long time.

Bending forward doesn’t happen anymore either. It feels like my insides will fall out through my mouth and I get a double whammy of being kicked by the baby. Chairs have to be turned around back-to-front in order to sit at a table (it looks nothing like Marilyn Monroe) and the worst part is…you just can’t reach parts of your body that you used to be able to.

It’s frustrating to not be able to dry between your toes anymore, to be unable to cut your own toenails or remove the nail varnish that you were able to put there a month ago. Worse still is how wiping your bottom becomes a sport in itself (don’t worry – my personal hygiene hasn’t slipped). I thought maybe I just had incredibly short arms or sudden poor flexibility but my friend Google informs me that lots of other women get this too.

If you know a pregnant woman, go and offer her a pedicure and give her a packet of wet wipes right now.