This blog entry is about going to the loo. If poo freaks you out or you’re easily offended, don’t read on. I’ve potty trained a toddler and it’s part of every day life, therefore I have no shame in writing about it.

We’re on day 12 of self isolation, due to the Corona virus pandemic. There are two adults, a 3-year-old child and a 3-month-old baby and we live in a small 2 bedroom flat. We’re allowed to go outside for walks so things aren’t as bad as they could be but space is limited and it’s a miracle to get 5 minutes to yourself in the day.

The morning was going well. We’d eaten breakfast, had cleaned up and my 3 year old daughter was happily playing. I took my chance to go to the loo alone.

The first mistake I made was NOT locking the bathroom door. But I’ve become used to leaving it unlocked so that a toddler meltdown from the other side can easily be de-escalated.

You have no idea (unless you have had or have small children) what a total luxury it is to sit on the toilet without a running commentary from a toddler. “Ooooh! Can I look at it?”, “Are you going to push?”, “What’s that noise?”, “Can I pass you the loo roll?”. It’s constant. So I was very happy to sit by myself for once.

Suddenly, the door burst open (I really should have locked it) and my daughter flew in, wailing “But IIIIIIIIIII need the loo!” when she saw me sitting there. Because she’s been potty trained for less than half a year, I’m always happy when she wants to sit on the ‘big’ toilet. So I begrudgingly stood up (half stood, if you must know) and let her take my place.

“Can you get my dummy?” she whined.

“No, not right now. I’m not in the ideal position to leave the room and start hunting for your dummy”.

“But whhhyyyyyyyy nooooooootttttttttt?”

That turned into crying and a tiny bit of screaming (from her, not me – I was just happy to have been allowed near the loo roll again). After settling that discussion and agreeing that dummies on the loo aren’t a good idea, she announced:

“The wee wee is not coming out” and left the bathroom.

Next time, I am locking the door and maybe even setting up a security password or combination code.