For those who don’t know me, I’m a drummer. Until I became the editor of a drum magazine a few years ago, I had spent almost a decade earning a living as a touring musician. I’ve spent most of my life playing drums and I’ve known for a long time that I would want to be a mother at some point; it’s been on my mind for several years as to how it would be to combine the two.

For many years I was really worried. For the first part I was worried about how I would be able to have children and still keep touring and chasing my dream. Then as the years went by, I began worrying that I was leaving it too late to have children and that it might never happen at all. I worried about making the transition between the two ideals or maintaining them both at the same time.

The reality is that I was working on some gigs where image was a big part of being employed. You’re very unlikely to get hired to play behind a popstar when you are obviously pregnant! And as I found out, you also get tired quickly and don’t even necessarily sit comfortably at a drum kit anyway. The other reality was that my job involved being away from home a lot and I knew that would be a sacrifice I would have to make if I chose to have a baby.

Thankfully, the editor job was perfect for me and I felt that, even if I was never able to work again, I was really happy with where I had got to in my career. Perhaps because of this, I felt at ease with the idea of merging my drum world with the idea of being a mother.

Now I have a four month old baby and I wonder why I spent so much time worrying. People tell you that you will be overwhelmed by love for your child but it’s hard to imagine without actually being a parent – no job would ever be as important to me now as my daughter is. I’m having a hard time imagining being away from her for two days next month; there’s no way I can imagine being away for a whole tour. Maybe it would get easier as she gets older – maybe not.

I haven’t been able to play drums for a long time and was worried that I’d have lost my co-ordination and become really slow. I had a lesson with my mentor a couple of weeks ago and it felt great to be back behind the kit with a purpose. I was pleased to find nothing serious had happened to my playing – just a few signs that I hadn’t practised for a while, which is nothing I can’t get back.

I know several women who have amazing careers as musicians and who also have children (I’m not talking about Beyoncé) so I know that it can work. I think if you make a solid name for yourself then it’s likely you can pick up where you left off; it just might be that you don’t want to in the same way. Priorities change.

So my music has taken a hit but not in the way I expected it to. I’ve changed, or rather, my daughter has changed me.